Tennis Twittering’s – News from the Courts

Section Update;

Obviously it is not currently possible to predict what the future holds not only for the tennis section but society in general. However, in the words of Lee Childs hero Jack Reacher, we should ‘hope for the best and plan for the worst’.

So, let’s deal with hoping for the best first:

  • Let’s assume that life starts to return to ‘normal’ within the next three months. That will take us to the beginning of July when the sun will be shining and the birds regaling us with their merry songs. Liverpool FC will finally win the two games required to lift the Premier League Title. Earth regains its true orbit after 30 years.
  • We will have all lost weight and be sporting long lush locks and dazzling luxuriant beards, mainly the men.
  • Our astro courts will be immaculate and the wet boggy back service area will be buoyant and Velcro like. Slips, trips and falls together with soggy balls will be a thing of the past. Once again; this mainly involves the men.
  • The grass courts will resemble bowling greens with a consistent bounce and players from the Merseyside area will be queueing up to use our Wimbledonesque courts. Our courts will be a Field of Dreams; if we build them they will come!

And then there is the planning for the worst;

  • The isolation extends beyond 3 months during which time Ben Hulme will have been researching Neuro Linguistic Programming and decided to change his appearance, attitude and approach to life. He will miraculously re-appear as James Hulme, with boyish good looks, slick haircut (!) jaunty gait, rapier like wit and intellectual banter.
  • The majority of our C team will have succumbed to ‘cabin fever’ and still be subject to extended social distancing by friends, family and society in general. This will be due to continuing on-line misbehaviour which they claim is as a result of misunderstandings and mis-interpretation mainly involving Charlie Kelly.
  • Ernie Traynor will have spent his time in isolation putting pen to paper and pursuing his boyhood dream of becoming a song writer. Unfortunately due to the time span involved he will find it hard to find lute and lyre players.

No matter how long this situation continues it is possible to be confident that one day we will be able to return to our courts and enjoy each other’s company. When this is possible, we will arrange for our annual Family Fun Day to take place and depending on what the Liverpool League decide to do regarding the completion of matches, arrange games with other clubs to maintain contact and friendships. Initial conversations with other clubs have already taken place and would indicate that they are keen on this proposal. Happy days.

So, all that remains to be said is; stay safe and healthy and hope to see you very soon.